Red
by reno-xxxXXXxxx
Summary: Life is difficult when all you can see is red. Rated M for extremely dark contents. One sided RenoxElena


_Authors Note: Okay, this is a really, REALLY random story that came from the top of my head. It's half me venting feelings, half me practising different writing styles. Okay, so I'd REALLY appreciate some really details reviews, because I've tried really hard to put a lot of imagery in here. I want to know if you pick up on it. _

_Just a warning; this is a really dark story. There are suicidal references in it, although you can take from it whatever you want. If I get a response from this, and if anyone wants me to, I might do another chapter. Only one though, I don't want to start another long story yet._

_Enjoy, and please review._

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Red**

If anybody walked down the dark, dingy alleyway that night, all they would hear would be the frequent cracking of thunder from the angry storm clouds overhead. Hell, nobody would be listening out for anything else. But that night, along with each and every other night, if somebody were to stand a little closer to the small, permanently curtained window on the corner, they would hear the painful cries of another human being.

Hiding was always in his best interests though; hiding from his own emotions, hiding from the people who wanted to help him. He shrugged them off, told them he was fine. He couldn't burden other people, not again.

Behind those dark curtains, a young redhead sat on an unmade bed, tears running unchecked down his cheeks. He sat in darkness, the only light coming from a street lamp outside. It wasn't that he had chosen to sit in darkness, no, he had been sitting motionless for so long, just drinking bitter alcohol, he had barely even noticed the darkness falling around him. It would have been a tragic scene, had anyone seen it, this lone figure, barely even a man, completely tearing his heart out for no one else to see.

But why did he cry? That was a question he asked himself everyday. _'Reno, pull yourself together. You're just being stupid…' _But he could not snap out of it. People around him seemed to either not notice, or not care about his tormented soul. A man, particularly one with a reputation like Reno's, could not be expected to cry.

The sound of thunder filled the air and the room lit up momentarily. It had been stormy for a while, but the sudden noise still made Reno jump. He shook the feeling off and put his head down, seeing his blood red hair flow over his shoulder. He felt sick to his stomach as he tried to work out what was causing these burning, salty tears. The past, the present or the future? It was all blurry, and Reno could see no light. In the past, he had had nothing to hold onto. Now, he had nothing to hold onto. And as for the future? Well, Reno could not see it at all. But isn't that a strange thought, to not be able to see one's future? Maybe he was just lost, or maybe he didn't _want _to have a future.

Looking at things seriously, Reno could see no real reason why he was actually holding onto this thing they called life. He wished he could just let go, and feel himself drop into that everlasting darkness. But he couldn't. Something, just one small force, was clinging onto him like a chain. He knew what that chain was, and he wished he had the strength to break it.

Elena.

That girl haunted him. He cared about her on a level that he had never cared about anybody else, but she never spared him a passing glance. It wasn't that she didn't like him; Reno didn't doubt that she did. But she didn't notice him. He could fall into the fiery pits of hell itself and she wouldn't notice. She just didn't care enough about him; there were other people on her mind. He knew who her heart belonged to, but he just couldn't accept it. Tseng. But why would she pick Reno over him? It went without saying, Tseng was a better man than he was in every way possible. He was stronger, calmer, kinder… and more important than anything, Reno was pretty sure he wasn't currently sitting in his darkened bedroom crying.

She had too much to hold onto already, she wouldn't miss Reno if he weren't there. Nobody would really. So that little shred of hope the left Reno grasping onto life was a sham; something only he cared about, and was therefore selfish. All this thinking was only heightening his feeling of worthlessness.

Outside, the storm clouds thickened, and the claps of thunder and flashes of lightening became closer and closer together. The storm was nearing, but Reno didn't pay any attention. By the light of the dim street light outside, he slipped his hand under his pillow and pulled out a dull but sharp knife. He always kept it there for self defence; he slept better at night knowing that he would be protected should someone enter his house uninvited. Now the only defence he needed was against himself and his own terrifying feelings.

The feel of the cool blade against the skin of his wrist was somewhat calming, yet he felt his heart speed up the harder he pushed. He felt the sharp edge against his bone, but he knew he hadn't pierced the skin yet. That bone felt uncomfortable; he knew he had lost a lot of weight in the past few months, but he didn't much care. He had gone for days at a time eating next to nothing, purely because he couldn't see the point. That was one thing Elena had noticed, but she had just spent her time telling Reno to eat more. _'Why?' _he would think to himself, _'so I can hold on even longer to something I don't want?' _He paid no attention to her because she didn't understand. He wasn't mad at Elena, for she was just naïve. He was mad at himself, which is why at that moment he was sitting with this cold metal blade pressed against his pale, clammy skin.

He took a sharp intake of breath as his hand unconsciously pushed the blade harder at the thought of Elena. Images of her face flashed through his mind as he pushed harder and harder, finally hissing with sweet, blissful pain as the edge punctured his skin. He looked down as he pulled the knife across his wrist, and saw the droplets of crimson blood glisten in the dull light. Such a deep, dark red; it was the only color he ever saw nowadays. The thick blood trickled down his arm as he pulled the knife out and forced it back it only a short distance from the first wound. The pain would have been quite overwhelming had he not been so numb inside.

At that, he broke down. He sobbed uncontrollably, forcing the metal through his skin time and time again, until his arm was so covered in blood he could not see where the wounds were. His shirt, his trousers and his bed sheets were all stained with his crimson regret. He was starting to feel light-headed, but the feeling was very welcome. After all this pain, it was good to feel it slipping away, slowly but surely…

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Beyond the curtained window, the storm was beginning to pass, revealing patched of dark, velvety sky, dotted with glimmering stars. A cold wind blew, rustling the tree branches. Footsteps paced quickly up the alleyway, splashing in the puddles caused by the angry weather. A young woman practically skidded to a halt outside the curtained window and rapped her knuckles on the glass.

"Reno!" she shouted. There was no sound from within. "Reno, are you there?"

The woman cursed under her breath and walked around to the door and began pounding on that instead. _'Come on, Elena. Calm down… he's fine, he's okay…' _Elena's subconscious was yelling at her to stop shouting the redhead's name, but she didn't listen. She had been sat at home for hours, thinking about the redhead, and she knew something wasn't right. She had been debating whether or not to pay Reno a visit or not; all day he had been practically silent, and he had left work without a word. Her guilt had gotten the better of her, since she knew she had been neglecting her friendship with Reno recently. Many times the redhead had looked at her, his deep aqua eyes crying out for help, but she had ignored it. It was obvious to even the least smart people there was something bothering him, and now Elena needed to find out what it was, to put her mind at rest if nothing else. Her plan, however, was no working.

"Reno!" she yelled louder, before sighing desperately. She pulled out her cell phone and quickly dialled Reno's number, but it just kept on ringing. _'Reno always answers his cell phone… there's something wrong… and it's all my fault. If I had made him open up a little more…'_ The only sound was the steady dripping of the water overflowing from the gutter above her, and the wind whistling in her ears.

"Reno…" she thumped her hand down on the door, whispering his name, sobbing gently. Now she was there to answer his cries, there was nothing left. He cried no more.


End file.
